I may get a lot of backlash in this, but it is 100% authentic and I felt the urge to write it so we can stop holding ourselves up to such high spiritual expectations. I have recently had to let go of some very long-standing relationships that I have allowed to continually make me feel like shit. I am a strong independent woman who knows what is up, yet found myself in a cycle that was not and never did serve me. We all got our stuff...believe me.
Commonly you are taught during spiritual and awakening work, that forgiveness is the key to happiness and wholeness, and that you should give love and light to that person as you say goodbye...UM NO.
Forgiveness concepts of freedom and wholeness is so true to me, not because I am forgiving and allowing the behavior to continue, because I decide I will no longer let someone else determine who I am or how I feel about myself.
Usually, if I am being honest that comes with a little Fuck You. I do not and will not put up with BS from you any longer and F you is the best way to get that point across if you are serious about it.
Sometimes I just do not want to give someone who has treated me like shit, deceived me, or disrespected me “love and light” as I forgive them. I want to say FUCK YOU. It is empowering, it is the truth, it is the essence of forgiveness because you will not tolerate such behavior any more or allow yourself to be treated in that manner.
Now I am not saying that everyone who makes me irritated gets a F you or that you should text or call or email this statement to anyone who pissed you off, I am saying when I am truly ready to leave a situation or relationship and am letting go of all holds on my energy this person attaches to or drains from me, and accept the situation with pride because I am standing up for myself...I shout a little F you.
Truth: It most often is never even heard or said directly to the person, but I exit the situation and move forward with a little tinge of delight knowing I can easily without guilt or shame say this and move on. I do not really care if they hear it at all. It’s for me 100%.
Don’t go out and tell everyone you need to forgive or has wronged you F you today ha ha, but do know that it is OK to be a freaking strong badass and stand up for yourself, your respect, and knowing confidently who the fuck YOU are! You do not have to make a scene...just silently sit with it and show up with the dignity and grace that shines because you have started loving yourself a little more.
I accept myself that I do not feel the need to give love and light to someone who does not respect me...I am OK and know my freedom comes from being able to say I put ME first! We all need to put ourselves first and so often we do not, myself included, so try this week to say I am what is most important, not you and what you need, BUT what I need.
Do something you have been meaning to do. Try something that scares you. Take a small risk...DO IT! Feel that confidence soar! You got this mama...I know it.
Love you all! Have an amazing week!